I spent a day at metro trying to get some help / medication. They gave me Prozac and a bunch of financial homework to bring back in a month. I have been pretty low since my last false start at employment. I am pretty much in survival mode. I am taking the Prozac (doesn’t seem to be doing much) and have promised myself to call a different friend every day, both for support, and also to reconnect with people; I have been in isolation for a long time; from my circle of close friends that is.

I dipped into my stash of Ritalin yesterday and was happily surprised to feel almost normal for most of the day; I was able to concentrate, focus, get some things done, and not be completely immobilized. I do not feel so great today, but I am comforted somewhat by yesterday’s reinforcement that I have a disability, and that my problems are not due to a lack of character.

I started working on a zine yesterday. The idea of actually finishing a zine seems insurmountable, but the idea of getting some of this out of my system in small bits, on paper, through drawing, writing, or whatever, it seems like a good idea.