quazipseudo

2011-09-10T16:38:00.001-04:00

yoko ono: It's advisable to always keep your head empty so a wind can pass through

2011-09-10T16:21:00.001-04:00

@bainsmac is now following you on Twitter! Glory Hallaleujah!

2011-09-06T06:37:00.001-04:00

cheeesy monster / horror flicks all day today on TCM.

2011-08-05T20:41:00.001-04:00

Yoko Ono: Go from one room to another opening and closing each door. Do it very slowly. Imagine opening and closing your brain when you do this.

2011-08-01T17:02:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday Dad. I miss You.

2011-07-29T15:42:00.001-04:00

Have I told You lately that I love You?

2011-07-09T12:12:00.001-04:00

Someone searched for you. But it wasn't the hot chick in the ad.

2011-06-15T07:23:00.001-04:00

krispy kream delivery truck... unguarded...

2011-06-13T13:31:00.001-04:00

Daryll B., if you're out there, call me. Potent bidniss.

2011-06-03T12:37:00.001-04:00

Home made Cream of Potato soup at John's Diner in Lakewood

2011-05-18T20:14:00.001-04:00

NEW CARD DESIGNS !!! ~ http://www.etsy.com/shop/quazipseudo

2011-05-17T14:07:00.001-04:00

i see Amira mostly on the weekends. she's growing so fast it's like i'm meeting a new person each time.

2011-05-17T14:04:00.001-04:00

Amira says "It's raining Chinese food"

2011-04-26T23:06:00.001-04:00

my spelling is so bad the spellchecker can't even figure it out.

2011-04-21T10:08:00.001-04:00

I'm a late in life lesbian

2011-04-14T23:39:00.001-04:00

Math Contest: Part Two: .....Every 3rd card turned over was red too. What are the odds of having all red, or all black cards turn up?

2011-04-14T23:37:00.001-04:00

Math Contest: Part One: True Story: I just played an (obviously unwinnable) game of Solitaire. All 7 face-up cards were red.....

2011-04-14T09:18:00.001-04:00

america might elect the donald simply for the entertainment value alone.

2011-04-13T17:14:00.001-04:00

/ due to gas prices/
/ pedestrians no longer /
/ have the right of way /

2011-04-12T13:46:00.001-04:00

FWD: yokoono: Count all the puddles on the street when the sky is blue.

2011-03-27T13:30:00.001-04:00

reality tv i'd watch: locate siblings seperated young. set them up unwittingly on blind dates.

2011-03-25T08:12:00.001-04:00

dufr01: @Quazipseudo Watch out for that ice! I threw down a bunch of calcium chloride this morning. <looked all melted!>

2011-03-24T18:18:00.001-04:00

managed to find the one spot in the driveway that still had ice. practically dislocated my shoulder. shit hurts!

2011-03-24T12:18:00.001-04:00

yoko ono: Cherish every meeting with someone. The odds of not meeting in this life are so great that every meeting is like a miracle.

2011-03-15T17:03:00.001-04:00

jeannie in recovery. long day. no cathater. heart ok. cool pics inside heart. revisit pulmenary angle next. thnx all! xoxo

2011-03-15T08:47:00.001-04:00

jeannie getting heart cathater (sp?) today, tue 3/15/2011. prayers appreciated. text or call 216-339-2337.

2011-03-11T15:20:00.001-05:00

God bless the people of Japan.

doris zine blog

2011-03-03T11:28:00.001-05:00

new zines

from doris zine blog by noreply@blogger.com (doris zine blog. for website go to dorisdorisdoris.com)

New zines! at click here for distro

Filling the Void: interviews about quitting drinking and using
Super inspiring! A great resource for people trying to quit. Not spiritual or straight-edge. 8 interviews with people who have quit drinking and/or using. Frank discussions and stories about the positive and negative roles drinking/using had in their lives, why they decided to quit, what they struggled with and how they managed to do it.
interviewees include Erick Lyle (Scam zine), Artnoose (Ker-bloom zine), Cindy (Doris zine), and John Geek (The Fleshies). Interviews conducted by and edited by Cindy and Caty Crabb

Protective Playing Cards
the most beautiful, coolest work of art I have ever seen. A real deck of cards, each card has a different amazingly beautiful drawing of protection.
you can play cards with them, keep them by your bed and look at one a day, page through them whenever you need to remember that you are not alone.

When the Crash Meets Something Solid #003
vinettes about addiction, Goddard College, pills to heroin, being in an abusive master/slave relationship with the owner of the massage place she worked - and getting away.

We Shut the City Down: Six former Student Liberation Action Movement (SLAM) members reflect on the mass direct actions against the 2000 Republican National Convention in Philadelphia.

2011-03-03T11:23:00.001-05:00

smart ads crack me up. there's one for anger management on my home page.

2011-03-01T20:10:00.001-05:00

/ tooth aches, must come out /
/ no numb stuff, must work fast, breathe /
/ fuck me! so much blood /

2011-02-25T13:17:00.001-05:00

snowed in

2011-02-24T11:01:00.001-05:00

reality tv i'd watch: courtroom drama: colorful guest judges decide who wins/loses... a wino, paranoid schizo, drag queen, four yr old, grandma, strippers...

2011-02-20T19:02:00.001-05:00

reality tv i'd watch: drag queen survivor.

2011-02-20T19:00:00.001-05:00

reality tv i'd watch: group of drag queens compete for the affections of a gay leather biker dom.

2011-02-20T18:56:00.001-05:00

reality tv i'd watch: group of unattractive women compete for the affections of a blind man.

2011-02-20T18:52:00.001-05:00

what's the deal with midgets and pitbulls?

2011-02-17T13:12:00.001-05:00

i cant believe i never tried mustard on falafel before.

2011-02-16T16:56:00.001-05:00

mom listens to christian radio now. loud.

2011-02-15T12:32:00.003-05:00

FWD: DalaiLama: In general I think that anger is a sign of weakness and tolerance a sign of strength.

2011-02-15T12:32:00.001-05:00

FWD: yokoono: Fear breeds fear. Hate breeds hate. And Love breeds love.

2011-02-15T12:29:00.001-05:00

makes me mad not they /
hid the doughnuts, rather that /
they hid them so well

2011-02-14T19:00:00.001-05:00

note to self.. cool it with the garlic.

2011-02-14T10:52:00.001-05:00

having computer problems.. off line.. call me

2011-02-14T10:50:00.001-05:00

DalaiLama: Developing love & compassion & reducing anger & spite is a universal activity which requires no faith in any religion whatsoever

2011-02-14T10:47:00.001-05:00

FWD: DalaiLama: Developing love and compassion and reducing anger and spite is a universal activity which requires no faith in any religion whatsoever

2011-02-08T15:54:00.001-05:00

having a string of really productive days. nice repreave (sp?) from the usual ADD Shuffle.

2011-02-05T13:34:00.001-05:00

FWD: TheGodLight: Love will stand above everything. It wipes out all defects. It is the only power that sets everything to rights: Peter Dunov

2011-02-04T14:31:00.002-05:00

Syndicated Zine Reviews: Manchester Scenes

http://eyeshootphotosandfood.blogspot.com/2011/01/manchester-mini-zinebookalbum.html

2011-02-04T02:26:00.001-05:00

Shape & Situate http://syndicatedzinereviews.blogspot.com/2011/02/shape-and-situate.html

2011-02-03T10:36:00.001-05:00

just saw some dirty ice / slush fallen from a car that was shaped like godzilla

2011-02-03T09:59:00.001-05:00

i should have shoveled more while it was still light and powdery. now it's mostly ice.

2011-02-02T08:28:00.001-05:00

Has Monster Quest every actually found ANYTHING?

2011-01-31T18:18:00.001-05:00

does anyone really think i'm gonna open something stamped "Second Chance"?

2011-01-31T17:35:00.001-05:00

watching mom try to turn the car around in the backyard

Random CULC Links

2011-01-30T06:19:00.003-05:00

http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/search/detailmini.jsp?_nfpb=true&_&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED095234&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=no&accno=ED095234

http://www.cleveland.com/obituaries/index.ssf/2008/10/charles_michael_james.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bassette

http://ech.cwru.edu/ech-cgi/article.pl?id=AS1

http://books.google.com/books?id=mBwX-YsnvEUC&pg=PT78&lpg=PT78&dq=cleveland+urban+learning+community&source=bl&ots=nS_3WbWsZm&sig=ocZJuEsNptJSGiYxYkP1lfOwrmc&hl=en&ei=M0FFTabTFYSglAfB-IwX&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&ved=0CEUQ6AEwBTgK#v=onepage&q=cleveland%20urban%20learning%20community&f=false

http://www.classmates.com/directory/school/Cleveland%20Urban%20Learning%20%20Community%20High%20School?org=21312

2011-01-30T04:48:00.001-05:00

Nine times out of Ten, I'd rather eat a banana than cook something.

2011-01-29T05:45:00.001-05:00

all this technology... and nothing to say

Fethullah Gülen, the Institute of Interfaith Dialog, and Raindrop Turkish House,

2011-01-24T00:46:00.003-05:00

i saw a story on PBS about Fethullah Gülen and The Institute of Interfaith Dialog, which is closely affiliated with our mosque back in Houston, The Raindrop Turkish House.

the story will air again:
Religion & Ethics Newsweekly
A profile of Turkish scholar Fethullah Gulen, who's inspired a global Islamic movement to build schools instead of mosques.

i'm not sure where, but The Institute of Interfaith Dialog is building a mosque, a synagogue, and a church, all on the same piece of land.

i was very happy to see our people in Houston building bridges with Jews.
Raindrop Turkish House and Institute of Interfaith Dialog hosted Temple B’nai Israel

Updated Version of an Old Rant

2010-07-27T09:04:00.004-04:00

Two Dimensional Political Models: Why Politics Is Broken
Or
Why I Piss Everyone Off, Regardless of Their Politics

By Jack Cheiky

I've studied a lot of those two dimensional political models. Most are some version of the four quadrant type, but I've seen a triangle and another where "left" and "right" wrap around to where they almost touch. Many models use different terminology, possibly suggesting no one can exactly agree on what defines the political spectrum.

There seems to be something broken somewhere in our understanding of the political spectrum. Two things I find odd and ironic are the strange logic that so perfectly polarizes us into ambiguous, disempowered groups, and also how both sides come down so close in proximity to one another on the political chart. For example, from a strictly political perspective (not a value perspective) a radical feminist and a Christian fundamentalist aren't all that different.

The typical chart:

A~C
~X~
S~T

A = Anarchist / Libertarians
C = Capitalist
T = Totalitarian / Authoritarian
S = Socialist / Communist

I would think the natural lines of division would be drawn horizontally between those who want more freedom in more areas of their lives (above), and those who want to impose cultural laws and standards on others (below).

A~C
=X=
S~T

Oddly, what happens is the lines get bent in such a way as to pair up the capitalists with the (radically religious) authoritarians, and the socialists/communists with the would-be libertarians and anarchists, even though both of these alliances are as far as I can tell fundamentally at odds with one another. The result is two equally dichotomous and impotent polar forces.

A/S >< C/T

If the Illuminati really is out there somewhere pulling our strings, you have to admire the brilliance of this device of divide and conquer. As it is, though, I think this is something we pretty much do ourselves, even if there are those who are shrewd enough to help it along from time to time and use it to their advantage. Either way, it amounts to the same pile of beans.

The two polar ends of the spectrum (commonly Left and Right) have agendas that call for the use of the government and legal system to force their opponents into complying with their own values. This in effect bends the left-right line downward like /\ and lands them both in the bottom half of the chart, in the direction of fascism and totalitarianism, and away from freedom. It also leaves anyone with any hint at all of libertarianism (the top of the bent line) appearing like the lunatic fringe.

~~ L ~~
~~/\~~
A/S C/T

In reality most of us end up closer to the center than we do to any of our respective extremes; nobody really wants to get too far out into fanaticism. It's probably a good thing too, but there's still a problem: a lot of people have the illusion of doing something that matters when if fact little gets done, the people are saddled with a bloated government, and the powers that be have free rein.

Consider for a moment the "Right". Here we have grouped together the capitalists and the religious radicals. We've come to accept this as the natural way of things. There is a tiny shred of sense in that. If you consider that the people who wanted to conserve their wealth were largely white and largely Christian and either consciously or unconsciously wanted to conserve their cultural identity and perhaps their cultural dominance and cultural purity, then yes, the word conservative makes a tiny bit of sense.

However, I make an important distinction between a dyed in the wool capitalist, and the ruling elite. The ruling elite exist in any culture, with or without capitalism. A capitalist on the other hand believes in letting a free market work out what needs to be worked out, and letting a person rise or fall based upon their character, while the ruling elite are simply interested in using their capitol to ensure they stay the ruling elite.

An example of the dichotomy of the right is the embryonic stem cell issue. The religious radicals would outlaw harvesting the cells. Conversely, a capitalist would reject government regulation and interference in medical research. Ethical issues will always come up, but a capitalist will err on the side of too much freedom rather than too little, and allowing the market to work things out. From a capitalist's perspective, if people were significantly opposed to the research a boycott would ensue on the resultant technologies.

Now consider the "Left". Here we have lumped together the anarchist/libertarians with the socialist/communists. Again, we've come to accept this as natural, and you can piece together how this probably happened. The traditional idea of liberty from the wealthy and government rule over time got twisted into the use of the government rule to liberate the wealth. It's easy to see how that could get confusing.

Let's look at something very simple like affirmative action. The socialist/communist element sees the inequity and injustice in our culture and aims to fix the problem through government rule and legal action. On the other hand, an anarchist or even the milder libertarian would be dead set against the government imposing such rules. From that end of the spectrum the perspective is people should be allowed to figure out how to behave and get along amongst themselves.

Both ends of the spectrum are ambiguous, hence both are ineffective. While small battles are lost and won over where to draw the lines on abortion and immigration and flag burning and stem cells and gay marriage and prayer in school, the power mongers are free to do as they please because we're preoccupied with the tiny details rather than the big picture.

The religious right gets screwed because they elect leaders who pay lip service to family values and raise a fuss over things like leaving the word "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, but who lack the necessary absolute power given our diverse culture to bring about the kind of homogenized utopia they dream of, while simultaneously inflaming the opposition with the threat of forced religious rule, giving rise and power to radical elements of the "left." crystallizing stereotypes, promoting disharmony, and ultimately leading to more crime and hate and all the things opposite of what the religious right really wants; a more "Christian" environment.

The idealists of the left get screwed because in the pursuit of liberty and social justice they give more power to the government making it ripe for ineffectiveness and corruption and due to simple demographics often put power right back into the hands of the opposition, while reinforcing a disempowered oppressed victim mentality in the very people they are trying to empower.

It's not enough that we intellectually understand that we're all closer to being moderates than we are to being radical fanatics, and it's not enough that we pay lip service to being open minded. We have to be ready and willing to compromise. We have to be able to stop seeing the other guy as wrong, and ask ourselves, "Could I be wrong?" And if we can't admit that, then at least we need to ask ourselves, "What part of my agenda would I be willing to give up in exchange for some real progress in the world?"

Fireworks, Chuck E Cheese, Sign Language, Metroparks, Beach.

2010-07-12T14:18:00.006-04:00

had a nice time on the 4th. saw fireworks at lakewood park with amira.

wed we took her to a deaf chat at the coffee shop. she's learning english, spanish, arabic, and sign language, but the ASL wasn't catching on, and i suspected it was because she hadn't made the connection yet that this is a way of talking. she copies signs, but doesn't know how to use them. i figured she needed to see deaf people talking to make the connection. and i was right. she started signing for real (more water) the very next day!

thurs we went to chuck e cheese, and i've still got the damn music from one of the rides stuck in my head; a bouncy rock/zydeco riff. not as bad as having the soundtrack to liquid sky stuck in my head, but still not pleasant.

yesterday, sunday, we went to the beach. it was her first time, and she had a blast.

I got thrown out of the Lakewood Farmers Market today

2010-07-03T22:48:00.026-04:00

I walked down to the end of my street this morning to see if I could sell some of my greeting cards. There's a new farmers' market there on Saturdays in Marc's parking lot. I had just missed the market the week before, but sold some cards sitting on a bench there as they were tearing down.

I'd been looking forward to this all week. The idea of being outdoors and selling my own product directly to the public was very appealing. If it worked; if i had any success at all, I could see myself really getting into it.

When I got there, I was finishing up a can of Diet Dr Pepper. I stood in the shade and studied the situation. There was nowhere really to sit, but I wanted to get a place in the shade, near, but not directly in the market. I know from having been a vendor at markets in the past that these people pay for their spots. It is un-cool to compete or otherwise interfere in their commerce. I settled on a spot under a tree, on the curb / sidewalk at the edge of the parking lot. I noticed there were no other vendors selling paper goods, so I felt comfortable being there. I wouldn't be stepping on anyone's toes.

To digress briefly; being back in Lakewood has been very healing. I avoid driving when possible. I walk the streets I walked in my youth, take the same shortcuts, and inventory what is new and what's still the same. I know this place like I know my hands. It's not just familiarity; it is Home.

So I'm feeling really good. There aren't a lot of shoppers, but it's okay for a new, small market. I talk to a few people, smile at shoppers, and say, "These are Greeting Cards I make," to anyone who looks for more than a second.

My Little Set Up

I start getting a weird vibe from this one woman, (Green Shirt.) I try to make eye contact and smile, but she seems to be purposely avoiding looking at me, except for very quick glances. I get the feeling like she wants to say something to me, but doesn't. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm projecting; I often can't tell.

Green Shirt

But no, I got it right. Green Shirt does come up to me a few minutes later, or rather, at me, with a determined stride. She does not introduce herself. She tells me that these people all pay for their places, and if I wanted to be a vendor there I could apply, cause it's not really fair that they all have to pay. She seems really tweaked. Again, I get the feeling there's more she wants to say, but she only repeats what she already said. It feels like she's frustrated, like I'm somehow not "getting it."

Normally I would engage more, introduce myself, talk about my art; but this is turning awkward, and I'm getting uncomfortable. I just say, "Yeah, I understand. Thanks. I might do that." And she walks away.

A short while later Green Shirt returns with another woman, (Tie-dye Dress.) Tie-dye does the talking this time. She also does not introduce herself. She hands me an application packet and basically reiterates what Green Shirt said, and with about the same amount of charm. I wonder for a moment if I'm somehow projecting a threatening aura. I know from experience women sometimes come at me with a combatively due to perceiving me as threatening. I don't see how though, in this instance. I'm dressed okay, clean shaven, relaxed, smiling, and there are people around, including some guys bigger than me. I don't get it.

Tie-Dye

So, I say thank you, I'll look it over, and roll it up and stick it in my back pocket.

They step away about 10 feet and start talking to a third woman. At this point I think it's over. They're not looking at ME anymore. They're chatting with their friend. I've got the application. They made their point. I go back to scanning the passersby for any glint of interest. I must have drifted deep into thought, because I was startled back into my surroundings when Green Shirt stepped into my line of sight and up in my face and asked, "Do you need a pen to fill out that application?"

Admittedly, I'm a bunt object. I chuckle under my breath as I realize where this is going. I say, "I'm not filling it out." Now, I could have said, "I'm not filling it out today." Or I could have suggested they let it slide for today, and I would decide one way or the other after getting my feet wet. After all I was already there, I wasn't taking up space, I wasn't competing with anyone. Indeed, I'd like to think I was bringing something of value to the party. But all I said was, "I'm not filling it out."

Then Tie-dye stepped up and said I had to pick up my things and leave. It was at this point I embraced my Inner Asshole. There was something very wrong going here. The aggressive, nasty stance made no sense. This was a tiny farmers market, just starting out. When you want something to flourish, you infuse it with good vibes, inviting energy, right? There are so many karma-positive ways they could have engaged me. It was baffling.

But on top of that, beyond that, I felt a geographical sense of outrage. This is my home. I was born two blocks to the east. My elementary school stands about 100 yards south, and the house I grew up in just on the other side of that. Pretty much on this exact spot is where my friend Tom and I went though the trash finding all the cool shit they threw out from the camera shop. And right over there where that guy is walking his dog is where we used to play basketball with the firemen before they tore this block apart and moved the firehouse up to Madison. My Grandma lived in one of the buildings they tore down to build this parking lot, along with houses I delivered papers to, and Ivan the hunchback's shoe repair shop.

Of course I couldn't have put all that into words at the time. I just knew something was very wrong. So, despite my knowing somewhere in the back of my mind that no good would come from butting heads, I said, "Oh, I'm not leaving." She didn't like that much, got a little flustered, and belabored her position. I asked her if she had the authority to throw me out. She mulled that a second and said, no, but she was sure she could find someone who did. I said fine, I would leave when the cops came and made me leave. Not that I thought they couldn't make good on the threat; I just wasn't gonna make it easy for them. I wasn't being dislocated without a fuss.

Anyway, the whole market thing had soured for me. I thought, at least the cops coming to boot me out would be interesting, and I'll have something to write about later. I started snapping pics.

After a bit a cop shows up. He talks with Green Shirt. They move away, out of earshot. Then he comes over and asked me what the deal is, and I explained my thoughts on the matter. He was real nice, and hung out until back-up arrived.

Cop #2 was less friendly; he had me pegged for a trouble maker from the get go.

He went and talked with the women.

When he came back he asked if I had a permit to sell stuff there, (nope,) then told me he was gonna write me up a citation for soliciting. He was in his car on the radio for about ten minutes, then came back and told me, it turns out, that he couldn't write me up for solicitation, that I was getting a break, but he would write me up for trespassing if I didn't split. I commenced to splitting, and while I packed my stuff we ended up having a very civil chat. Eventually, I think he got over seeing me as a trouble maker. I hope so.

I'm disappointed with the whole deal. It might have been cool to have a booth there. Darn. But when these strange karma vibe things happen, it’s usually for a reason. Maybe I wouldn’t jibe with some of these people under any circumstances. Who knows?

Me checking to see if I look threatening

Dan

2010-05-29T21:56:00.000-04:00

2010-05-29T14:39:00.003-04:00

My ADD sometimes presents like OCPD. I'll be working on one thing, and suddenly I get some random thought, and my mind takes off in that direction and doesn't look back.

Today I was working on some art projects. I remembered one time seeing a portrait of Jesus that looked amazingly like Elvis.

Now, I know what you're thinking, the Elvis/Jesus theme has been beaten to death in pop culture; but this was in a church, and appeared to be a print of something quite old, something predating Elvis. So even unintentionally, a modern artist could not have been doing it subconsciously .

And you're also probably thinking that such an image is completely probable, as many portraits of Christ look like famous people anyway; Ted Nugent, Richard Chamberlain, etc.

But this one was uncanny. I've never seen it again, anywhere, and that has always bugged me. I want to see it again. I want to get a copy.

So I got on line and began poring through tons of images of Jesus. Then I noticed an hour had passed, along with hundreds of pages of image searches. I'm usually pretty good about finding exactly what I'm looking for on line, but this time I have nothing to show for it. I'm going back to my art. If anyone happens upon this picture, please advise.

2009-10-05T14:23:00.001-04:00

I spent a day at metro trying to get some help / medication. They gave me Prozac and a bunch of financial homework to bring back in a month. I have been pretty low since my last false start at employment. I am pretty much in survival mode. I am taking the Prozac (doesn’t seem to be doing much) and have promised myself to call a different friend every day, both for support, and also to reconnect with people; I have been in isolation for a long time; from my circle of close friends that is.

I dipped into my stash of Ritalin yesterday and was happily surprised to feel almost normal for most of the day; I was able to concentrate, focus, get some things done, and not be completely immobilized. I do not feel so great today, but I am comforted somewhat by yesterday’s reinforcement that I have a disability, and that my problems are not due to a lack of character.

I started working on a zine yesterday. The idea of actually finishing a zine seems insurmountable, but the idea of getting some of this out of my system in small bits, on paper, through drawing, writing, or whatever, it seems like a good idea.

Elmwood

2009-09-25T13:44:00.000-04:00

Amish Jack wins by a landslide (88%)

2009-09-10T21:37:00.001-04:00

Wednesdays Art

2009-09-09T22:20:00.000-04:00

Eric Wilson

2009-09-03T13:05:00.002-04:00

wow, i just ran into eric wilson; anybody from culc remember him? he was never a student, he just hung around. i didnt get a photo, but i gave him my contact info, so maybe we'll hear from him again?

2009-08-20T19:05:00.000-04:00

Dead Serious

2009-08-13T13:12:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I was engaged in casual chit chat with a new friend while we were working adjoining stands at a market. I inquired how he landed in Ashtabula County from GA. His grandfather had been beaten near to death by the KKK. His grandfather stubbornly stayed in GA., but the rest of the family moved to Ohio. That was 50 yrs ago.

I was unprepared for the emotions that hit me. I've heard my share of horrifying stories, first and second hand, but I can't remember ever looking someone in the eye before while they recounted anything like that. Mixed up in my triggered emotions was a fair amount of rage and hate. Shit like that just makes me want to kill.

I got a little reminder of some basic stuff that I take for granted, and I'm passing that along. Fuck Racism. Period. All good people need to have a zero tolerance policy for that shit. And watch out for the hate; hate is cancer that weakens the soul and the mind and makes us susceptible to all that evil in the first place.

It is not enough to simply be benign; we are all of us ambassadors to the world, all the time. It is easy to get along with ones own kind, whatever that is, and it is easy to shrug off perceived slights, even confrontations. But when we are outside our comfort zone, with those others, these same things can take on whole worlds of meaning, trigger old wounds, etc. Compound that with cultural differences that can be misunderstood, or are just plain annoying. Remember, always give the other person the benefit of the doubt AT LEAST THREE TIMES before copping an attitude with someone. If you want to go for the extra credit, refuse to cop an attitude even if the other person obviously has already with you. Never underestimate the power of acts of goodwill, they are the anti-venom of hate.

bismi-llāhi ar-ramāni ar-raīmi
"In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful"

A Sight for Sore Eyes

2009-08-13T11:13:00.002-04:00

Anthony J Matlak

2009-08-04T18:07:00.002-04:00

Ducks

2009-08-02T13:14:00.001-04:00

Turkeys

2009-08-02T13:08:00.001-04:00

2009-08-02T12:58:00.000-04:00

Spencer

2009-08-02T12:53:00.000-04:00

Egg Boy

2009-08-02T12:49:00.000-04:00

2009-07-30T21:02:00.001-04:00

Fizz

2009-07-30T20:55:00.005-04:00

2009-07-28T09:05:00.000-04:00

2009-07-28T08:59:00.001-04:00

2009-07-28T08:53:00.001-04:00

2009-07-28T08:48:00.001-04:00

2009-07-28T08:31:00.001-04:00

2009-07-28T08:29:00.000-04:00

2009-07-28T08:20:00.001-04:00

2009-07-28T08:12:00.001-04:00

2009-07-28T07:53:00.000-04:00

2009-07-28T06:32:00.000-04:00

2009-07-28T06:25:00.001-04:00

this is my fav of the lot

2009-07-28T06:23:00.000-04:00

2009-07-28T06:21:00.000-04:00

2009-07-27T07:10:00.000-04:00

2009-07-27T07:07:00.001-04:00

2009-07-27T07:01:00.001-04:00

Anthony J Matlak

2009-07-27T06:58:00.001-04:00

2009-07-27T06:30:00.000-04:00

2009-07-27T06:26:00.000-04:00

i didn't know i was pregnant

2009-07-27T05:48:00.003-04:00

i have been off line the last couple weeks, and unavailable for comment. i've teamed up with former co-op coworker susanna dzejachok, aka redozo farms, and am working the farmers market circuit. we grow, we broker, we bake, etc. we will try to get a blog going soon and advertise our weekly goods and schedules. i will deliver produce free anywhere in lakewood. we will be at coit road market tomorrow, saturday, 6:30 am - 1:00 pm. i will try to get back on line later today with a list of goods.

following are photos and art accumulated over the last several weeks.

peas

Fireworks and Psychotropics

2009-07-05T14:50:00.002-04:00

i am mesmerized by the buzz of lawnmowers and the shadow play of the trees out the kitchen window. a chipmunk has been busy in the garage gutters and then the grass. the squirrels don't seem to notice, nor the birds. a spiderweb clings precariously between clotheslines in the breeze. a single fly wants to get out on the other side of the screen.

yesterday, the 4th, about 75 relatives gathered up near sandusky. i was unable to get there. still, it was gratifying to know it was happening, just as it has been nurturing to simply be in ohio again. in cleveland. in lakewood. it will happen again in two years. i look forward to seeing the photos.

i spent the 4th baking bread, missing my wife, and watching the u.s. presidents on the history channel. i am almost completely off my meds now; i still take 75 mg of levothyroxie, and am down to 50 mg of sertraline (from 200 mg) and completely off the bupropion, montelukast sodium, atomoxetine, and methylphenidate.

i'm not happy about it, mind you; it is not without consequence, but i'll survive. i see this as a detox and regroup maneuver. i know i was under too much stress for too long, and taking medication, even when necessary, becomes a slippery slope. so when i saw the handwriting on the wall i started cutting my doses in half, and then in half again, until the scripts finally ran out.

so, yeah, i'm moody, and more lathargic that usual. my sleep cycle is all fucked up. but this too shall pass. i'll get a job, and a new doctor, and we''ll start again.